Life’s Curveballs

I have known John going on 22 years and was shocked this week to find that he had been arrested for some serious crimes. John was being held in the County Detention Facility and bond was set at $500,000 for sexual abuse, sexual torture and sodomy.I had known this man for 22 years first meeting him at his business shortly after moving to the area. In 2003, he and his wife rented a home from me for almost a year and I came to know this family a little more that just on a business level.

John loved to play golf and talk about football. He had a large amount of football memorabilia scattered throughout his business and talked about football obsessively. John was also a school bus driver for the city and drove children to and from school for over 20 years. There was never any indication that he had problems of a sexual nature and I never would have expected it. I think that I can safely say that no one would think this of him not even his wife.

I do not subscribe to the local newspaper or watch local TV news so I did not find out about John’s problem for more than a week after his arrest. I went to John’s shop several times but found that it was closed with no indication as to why. After more than a week of going by his shop, I thought that John might be ill or that there was some other problem so I call his home. Diana, John’s wife answered the phone and I asked if John was okay. I could tell that she was a little hesitant to talk about it but she finally said that I would probably find out about it anyway and proceeded to tell me the problem.

Diana started out by saying that her eldest daughter had been sexually abused since she was 13 and it was just becoming known now 14 years later. She said that she had known this man for 20 years and never suspected it. At that point, I was lost and I did not know what man she was talking about so I said, “John,” and she said yes. I just fell silent at that point as she proceeded to tell me more of the details. It seems that John had a second life and had abused his stepdaughter for 14 years. The police found photos and video evidence of his encounters hidden in John’s shop. According to Diana, John confessed to the police that he was a good man but was sick. Diana’s daughter told her that she could not go on any longer by keeping this secret.

How

How do you process something like this? It is very disturbing that you think you know someone and then find you have been deceived. What does this family do now? How can they face their friends and neighbors? People that do this sort of thing never think how something like this, once brought to light; can have a devastating impact on the people around them.

Why

I struggle with my own life problems but nothing compared to this story. I have been on a search for the meaning of my own life then you hear something like this and you think, why? Why do some people take the wrong path? Why do people think that the things they do will never be known or see the light of day? Maybe they have never learned the true meaning of right and wrong or maybe something happened in their lives that told them that their behavior was acceptable. I can’t believe that I now actually know someone that is a sex offender.

Since much of what I was told for this article was told to me in confidence I thought it was best that John and Diana’s real names be held in confidence as well.