I’m Just Being Honest
Oct 23rd, 2007 by Larry
When does just being honest, become being brutally honest and over the line? Have you heard of Radical Honesty? Here is the definition from their website:
Radical Honesty is direct communication that leads to intimacy in relationships. Then people can powerfully create their future together. This works for couples, families, communities and nations.
I just can’t see how this could possibly lead to intimacy in relationships. Your spouse or lover would not take too kindly to complete honest 100% of the time. How would you comfort someone, for people want you to be sympathetic sometimes? You can’t just tell someone that you are tired of hearing them whine about their problems. Your relationship with someone wouldn’t last too long if you did.
This may work for “communities and nations” but we would need to backup our honest threats with action and we would always be in a war.
We all tell little lies everyday, just count them up. Your at work and meet someone in the hall and they greet you saying, “Are they keeping you busy?” What are you going to say, “No I’ve been trying to look busy but most of the time I’m just surfing the net.” Or, someone asks you, “How’s it going?” and you say “Great” or “Fine” even though you are having the worst day of your life. The best one of all is, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
Esquire did a story on Radical Honesty, which is more than funny called, “I Think You’re Fat.” However, be forewarned that some of the language used in the article is a little racy. Well, it’s Esquire.
I think that honesty is always the best policy and taking it to the extreme is amusing, but I could never do it. You would have no friends because they wouldn’t take to kindly to be insulted day in and day out. Your wife would hate you and probably divorce you, and you would most likely lose your job. And let’s be honest, you’d deserve it!
This article is pretty spot on. People (myself included) don’t appreciate brutal honesty unless there’s some higher value that requires it… like, “your dress is on fire” or “you have something gross on your face” …. and even then, most people would prefer the old ‘I rub my cheek until you figure out you have rub yours’ game than “wipe your cheek, now!”
The worst kind of brutal honesty (and I’ve poisoned many a well with this one) is trying to save people from making a stupid mistake. “Don’t marry her, she’s a whore” or “what the hell are you thinking, you want to throw away a full scholarship to become a beautician!?!” … and you don’t get any points back when the marriage fails or the hair and nails career is given up… you’re still the a**hole, and it’s even worse when you were right.
Many lies save others from having to act when they’d rather not, but would be obligated to on principle. The dog ate my homework lies allow teachers to give some leeway when “I am lazy and didn’t do it” would pretty much force them to give you an F. So made up car trouble, headaches, traffic, and grandparent’s illnesses allow us all a little space when obligations don’t.