Life’s Curveballs

I’ve been dealing with a family issue, struggle may be a better word, for some time now and there are no answers forthcoming. It feels like I’m stuck in some Groundhog Day scenario where the same thing keeps happening over and over and I’m unable to break the cycle; oh to be well again.

The Problem

The problem comes down to perception and the way I am. It’s hard trying to change the way you are and always have been. I’m kind of a laid-back person and I’m usually late. Try as I may to be on time for something like sending a birthday card or being on time for some function, I always end up being late. It seems like even when I’m early and believe that I’m on time or making good progress something invariable gets in my way like a traffic jam, computer failure, or some other obstacle and I end up being late. Right or wrong, it has gotten to the point where I don’t even sweat it anymore. I just do the best I can and be damn the rest. After all, I’m 54 years old and this has been going on my whole life.

The Conflict

Some people perceive the fact that I am late as not caring or I don’t like them and I’m doing it on purpose. Not only that I showed up late I may have brought something to their party or function that they don’t like and now they perceive that I’m doing something to hurt them. I don’t like them because surely I knew their likes and dislikes.

This scenario is played over and over again and every time it’s played, things get worse. Nothing I do is right and I’m a bad person for letting it happen.

The Answer

If anyone knows a good answer, I would sure like to hear it. I’ve tried to keep my distance but that doesn’t work because now I really don’t care. I’ve tried to cater to likes and dislikes only to fall short on occasion creating another do over day. I can be early ten times in a row but the one time I’m late it’s another day. The stress of it all is just too much to bear. I can’t keep walking on eggshells because they keep braking and it hurts.

Oh to be well again!

Larry